I was at the doctors office waiting for my son's orthopaedist to take the pins out of his elbow from a recent break and picked up a magazine that had suggestions for a peaceful routine at bedtime. The author suggested reading a favorite book or singing a favorite song etc. What I wanted to say is.....I read, sing, teach, correct, spend quality time with my children all day long. What they, and the whole family need is a bedtime routine that anyone can fulfill without much fuss. This would include you, your spouse, your sitter, mother, or any caregiver. This dragging bedtime on and on, making everyone crazy with "one more thing" is ridicilous.
At our house, after bathing, finishing any task that needs completion before bedtime, we say our prayers as a family, give everyone hugs and kisses, and tuck everyone in. Takes about 4 minutes from start to end. I can do it, my husband can do it, or we can do it together. Anyone can step in and in the end, all are happy and ready for sleep.
If parents are spending quality time during the day with their children, why do they find the need to jam in 20 stories, 10 songs etc to the end of a day? Keep it simple!
3 comments:
I read your blog...could not post for whatever reason but I felt as if u were saying that if you spend adequate time with your children during the day....u only need 4 minutes to put them to bed. My mother respects you and talks about your devotion to your family, husband and the Lord with sincere respect so I was just wanted to make sure that I understood your words correctly? Are there are adjustments for delayed children or is that the parents failure?
I would have to say, if you have a routine that takes an hour….then changing your bedtime routine is something that will not be easy or quick, but with patience you can trim your routine down each week to transition to a routine that does not wear out all parties involved.
Bedtime should not be a battle zone, or riddled with dozens of books, and activities. Many of my cohorts are having trouble and a particular coworker was here for bedtime at my house one evening, and after I reappeared, she said, “Is that it? No twenty books, songs, coming out for one more drink of water?”
Bedtime is very simple here. We gather to pray, give lots of hugs and kisses, we follow the children to their beds, tuck them in and that is it….very simple and our babysitters love us.
And yes, if you are spending time with your children loving them all day long, this complex bedtime phenomenon is unnecessary. I liken my cohort’s bedtime routine to a day at preschool. Not a time for settling down. I’m not sure where all this book reading comes from. We are reading all day long. In my parenting preview, I am progressing toward children that are moving toward self control in all things. Obedience, “It’s time for bed.” I say. The children respond, “yes, mom.” That is it. No crying, no angst, no running around to do one last thing.
It comes down to discipline and obedience. Not parental failure. If your vision as a parent does not have this model included, and your routine is working for you and your family there is no failure. If however, you find yourself totally exhausted and used up, maybe there is room for improvement.
I am not saying bedtime in your family takes 4 minutes; I am saying bedtime at our house takes 4 minutes.
There is no such thing as perfection, just improvement in our families and our journey together.
Well I don't have little ones anymore but I like your gameplan mamagates! I wish we had read more to our oldest when they were really little but we weren't homeschooling then. By the time we started homeschooling we did something very similar because in not sending them to conventional school (public or private) we DID spend lots of time with them. Sending them to bed with a hug and a kiss was the very natural thing to do.
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